My Ron Swanson Halloween Pumpkin

“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” With Ron Swanson’s advice echoing in my head, I took to carving my very own Ron Swanson-themed pumpkin.

Earlier this month, I carved my first pumpkin inspired by one of my favorite Pokemon, Squirtle and used the seeds to make cinnamon-roasted pumpkin seeds. But this time, I wanted to carve the silhouette of one of my favorite television characters, Ron Swanson.

As you can see, it didn’t turn out perfectly, mostly because the pumpkin was too small to really carve with any precision.

Ron Swanson is one of my favorite television characters for a number of reasons– he’s an honest, level-headed libertarian with some of the best one-liners on television. He consistently tells it as it is, and spends much of his time trying to sabotage local government programs.

He’s fiercely independent and enjoys his privacy. Ron is a devout meat eater and whiskey drinker. He’s a master wood craftsman (Nick Offerman, who plays Ron is as well). But at the core, he’s a good-hearted guy who’ll commonly go out of his way to help his friends.

And I could think of no better way to honor Ron than by gutting and carving his likeness into a vegetable.

Barry Falls Jr
Barry was the managing editor of his university newspaper before contributing as a freelance content creator for Yahoo News and Esquire. He founded Horror Theory in 2014 to analyze horror films through a sociological lens.

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